A Poem for Joshua and His Brothers

                     you ask me why
                         I haven't written a poem      for you,
                  and it is not the why, but the how.
               How do I put into words what is a part of me,
                         my flesh and blood, 
                                           what is too close and too precious
                                   to share,

                                         for fear of missing some part 
                         or  being inadequate in the telling.
            How do I put on this paper
                                a piece of my heart ….
                           do I reach inside
                                  and tear it out 
                                               and hold it up in front of my
            eyes
                                                examine it   and
                                                       write about it ??????
            How do I express the deep joy
                                         the unconditional love
                                          the great pride I have for you……
                      and capture it in printed words …..
            Perhaps      you do not understand  that 
                       you are not someone else apart from me…….
                       you are mine
                       you are the most important part of me   my world 
                                     every day of my life
                   I don't need to pen myself to paper
                            and read about it later,
                                we exist together.
            And so,
                     when you ask me why 
                              I have not written a poem for you,
                                        or your brothers,
                      I am sad  because I realize I have been amiss
                 to not have told you     why ….
            so here is your poem
                     but it is not finished or complete
                       because the most special secrets of the heart
                                     remain a secret
                       too difficult to express
                                in one solitary poem for you today.